Are you the most likeable person in the room or are you … well, avoided?
Well, let’s put it another way: do you think you’re generally OK but, in reality, people don’t really take much of a liking towards you?
More observant people are usually aware that they may not be the most likeable person in the room, and that’s totally okay. But those who do grow and prosper know very well that there’s room for improvement, and that they may need to take steps to up their game.
Here are 6 ways to become more likeable that may just change your personal and work life for the better:
1. Show Genuine Interest In Everyone
The most likeable people are also those who aren’t pretentious.
No matter who you’re dealing with, be genuinely interested in what people have to say to you. When you show genuine interest in someone, it lets them know that you want to hear their story – you have time for them.
Ever heard that quote from Robert Brault that charisma isn’t so much about getting people to like you but rather getting those people to like themselves and be themselves when they’re in your company?
It all makes sense, doesn’t it? When people feel comfortable around you simply because you show sincere interest in what they have to say, you’ll come across as a likeable person – somebody who isn’t afraid to get their toes a little wet when it comes to putting things aside and giving other people the time and attention they want.
Boom – more likeable!
2. Be As Humble As You Can Be
It’s so easy to be arrogant, isn’t it? On the other end of the spectrum, we have humility, but how many people do you know who are truly humble?
Alright, here’s a quick test: do you wave your awards, milestones, and achievements in people’s faces? Do you name-drop just for the sake of sounding important or attention-worthy? Are you in the habit of blowing your own horn every time you do any kind of good for others?
Listen, if you act at every opportunity as if you’re above any individual or situation, you’ll never understand the true value of being humble.
It’s important to be confident and maintain a high degree of self-esteem, but maintaining both these day in and day out can be tricky, especially when you try not to let arrogance creep in. There’s always a fine line between confidence and arrogance, after all.
Not sure how to practice humility? Observe others how they react when given praise or appreciation; when faced with adversity; when being told about others’ problems and how they respond, etc. People always enjoy being around people who are humble and practice humility in their day-to-day dealings.
3. There Are Courses Out There!
This may sound daunting, but you don’t need to do it in person (who wants to admit they want to be liked more?) There are courses you can take on pretty well everything nowadays, including online options where you can learn to be more likeable in a structured way. You’ll break down the areas that determine how people relate to you … and benefit from better relationships as you put the lessons into action.
It may sound far-fetched, but it’s not. You’ll soon have a plan that will likely get you to a much better place…
4. Don’t Be Afraid To Show Your Sense Of Humour
Research shows that people who see humorous ads are far more likely to buy.
Also want to know something crazy? People can really hate ads with a passion, but if a funny ad alone can create the desire in someone to buy something, it can also influence people to like you more.
We’re probably preaching to the choir here, but people who have a great sense of humour are always more fun and enjoyable to be around. So, don’t hold back or be shy when it comes to cracking a few jokes here and there or creating light-hearted moments to make everyone feel at ease.
There are hardly any downsides to putting your sense of humour on display, particularly if you want to be likeable. Obviously don’t overdo it – people who “try too hard” to be funny usually get the opposite reaction. Everything in moderation…
5. Social Narcissism Is A No-No
Ever come across a social narcissist? They want every conversation to revolve around themselves. All they want to do is talk about their successes and failures, their problems and issues, their stories, their friends, family, and general complaints about everyone and everything. It’s an exhaustive, never-ending list! What’s worse they will likely not bother to ask you about what’s going on in the other person’s life.
Please don’t be that person!
Rather than focusing on how terrible or amazing things are for you, ask others questions and inquire about what’s going on in their lives. Delve deep into the minds of those you are talking to.
Small-talk questions like “Why did you do it”, “How did it go”, or “What have you been struggling with the most”, show genuine interest.
Keep the focus on the other individual, not yourself. Such open ended questions are a great way to keep the conversation going, and as it ensues, you’ll end up being more liked.
6. It’s Okay To Show Vulnerability
We are traditionally taught at home and at school to always be strong, resilient, commanding, etc. and never show vulnerability.
Well, to some degree, that’s good advice but showing vulnerability does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. We’re not talking about showing vulnerability to put yourself in an embarrassing situation where others judge you but rather getting out of your comfort zone:
Speaking publicly even though you’re scared half to death of speaking in front of hundreds of people
Striking up a conversation in a café with a complete stranger
Stating your conflicting views when nearly everyone in the room holds the opposite view.
Wrap Up
Here’s the thing: likeable people are more successful, and happier, because they have the support of, and positive relationships with, those around them.
So even if you think you’re wildly popular and surrounded by friends, none of us is perfect. So take a look at what we’ve said here and see whether there are things you can do that will make you an even more likeable. That makes sense, doesn’t it?
